So I’ve been thinking about this for a while, but it’s really this accident that has made me think about it THAT much more.

It may sound cliché, but I’ve always wanted for my life to have a positive impact on the world.  Someone builds a bridge spanning 2 countries, teachers helping kids learn in the most effective way possible, creating fresh water cleaning solutions, renewable power generation, or ensuring that the bad things of this world doesn’t happen so much, enforcing those laws that are supposed to protect us.

What am I doing now?  
Am I now working in a job that’s having a not only positive impact on the world…but a meaningful impact.. making it a better place?

I’m working for a Chinese/ American logistics company basically helping Chinese people buy more shit that they don’t need from overseas.

It’s a very capitalistic kind industry, reducing costs, decreasing transit times, improving Customs situations, generally making it easier for Chinese people (mostly) to buy things from overseas….which in many cases they can get from the bottom of their building for cheaper, OR…that nobody needs in the 1st place.
It’s pure capitalistic… “spending creates economic growth” kind of stuff.

And in my mind, this is not something to be proud of.

Plus, there’s the monetary benefits of it.

You would think… hey, if you’re doing this for a couple of years, but it pays a lot… then bugger it, you can move onto something that you really want to do later.

Yes, but I’m now working in Europe, namely The Netherlands… and those preconceptions that Australians & many Asian countries have that Europe is advanced and somehow ‘in front’ of everywhere else…  because let’s face it, that’s the propaganda that they’ve been spewing out for ages…   well it’s just not true.

Just like America, it‘s not the ‘land of the free’   it’s NOT the greatest country on earth… it‘s just what they want you to think…but it’s not true.

The wage that I’m getting paid in Europe is about an average wage in Australia.  It’s not great, it’s not amazing… apparently its ok for European wages… but it IS just average for Australia, and it’s not super amazing even if I were to stay as an expat in China.

Plus, and this is a big 1, the weather here is terrible.
6 months of winter.
Well, what Australians would define as winter.
There’s 3 months of normal winter, cold, rain, windy, fog, front…just terribleness… oh plus getting dark really early.  Then there’s 1.5 months either side in Autumn & Spring that makes up the 6 months.
It’s not really what I’d call a great living country.

It is however, cheaper to live than in Australia, but only because there’s pretty much nothing to spend your money on.

So, is my job fulfilling at the moment?  Does that make up for anything?

No, not really… I’ve come to that point where…either I will set up my own business selling shit to Chinese people… , hey, they’re going to buy it anyway…and I’ve got the experience on how to do that… but will that be fulfilling?  And the conclusion that I keep coming to more and more… is NO.

Just no.

Is it just Europe?

Maybe… in my mind, in hindsight, this was not a great move for me.

It may be what many people would want on their resumes, ‘Lived in 4 different countries… got sent to The Netherlands as an expat/ foreign professional by a Chinese company to help make their European operations more efficient/ set-up new partnerships etc’

But I’m not a ‘normal’ person.  That should have been quite clear with the fact that since middle of university, I wanted to go & live/ study work in China… a country clearly very different to my own.

For many people, yes, Europe would look fantastic on their resumes, maybe even add to their fulfilment in life.   But for me, it was quite the opposite.

I left China just as I had met a great group of friends, really starting getting into the motorbike scene there, had quite a few nice Chinese friends, my Chinese was quite decent, &… at that point in time was thinking of starting my own business in Chengdu.

And… what did I do, I took a chance to come to Europe to work on a project here.  While the work is more fulfilling as directly compared to the work I was doing in Beijing, the life… which for Australian people is hugely important…was not.

Also since this time I have lost a significant amount of Chinese

So, I.. pretty much regret that move.

So anyway, what pray-tell, is this career change that I was thinking of?

I was thinking of jumping into something that has nothing to do with my job now.
I was actually thinking about joining the Police force.
Yep, the Police.

Why? 
Because in THAT job you actually get to help people, you can actually make a difference.

I’ve been told by many people, that in such a job you will see the ‘darker sides of society’ , but that’s also where you get to make a difference.
It just depends how you see it.
If as a police officer, you respond to a call of domestic violence, & through your actions you ensure that a person is not beaten the next day from a violent spouse… then you’ve done a good thing.
That’s something to be proud of.

I’ve been look at the Australian Federal Police for a while, the people that protect Australia from Federal crimes such as people smuggling, international crime, cyber -crime etc.

Apparently for this, you have to have been a state-police officer for at least 2 years.

My brother started looking into being a police officer, it’s something that he’s always really wanted to do, and through that I have started looking into it.  It seems great, it’s not a typical office job… which I just can’t take any more, its more involved with people, and it offers a great work/ life balance, plus it’s a chance for me to be back in Australia, nearby family and take a break from China a bit, plus offers that complete directional change from everything I’ve been doing since.

Why might it be difficult?

None of my studies, work experience kind of fit into this new kind of line of work.

Finance, Chinese, Asian business, International Relations with a focus on China, Australian, USA security strategy in Asia Pacific….yeah absolutely none of this relates to a role of a police officer.

It would basically mean coming back to Australia and starting from scratch.  Mentally that is difficult.

In terms of using my experience & or education I was also thinking about studying for the Masters course to become a teacher…but that involves studying again for 1.5 years and then teaching 1 of the subjects I studied…. And I don’t think I can be bothered with studying again.

So there we go… that’s what’s been running through my mind recently.

One of the other things I’ve been considering, is the ‘why not?’ kind of question, or what happens if I don’t do it?

Well, the wages, standard of living, cultural values, weather, political stabliltiy…basically just standard of living is way way higher than either China or Europe.
Having an average wage in Australia with a job that you actually enjoy, as compared to a higher wage in a place that you don’t like or a job that you don’t enjoy… well that’s definitely something to go for… the decision should be obvious.

And, if it’s the case that 5 years later or something, that I think… actually I really miss china, I really DO want to set up a business dealing with trade between Australia & China, then I can, with a bit of a base at home, something I can launch from a bit.

What do I mean by a base?

A house, a place that you can kind of put all your memories whatever, something physical that you can come back to.

So much of my last 7 years has been moving houses with just a few suitcases, buying just enough stuff to make life comfortable, but nothing so big and heavy that would make it difficult to move.

You would think that kind of minimalistic living would be very liberating.. but trust me, it gets tiring after a while.

You’re constantly thinking… well, I’m maybe only here for another 3 months…do I really need that?
Having to buy cookware, household items over and over again, dealing with renting agents…who are just purely the scum of the earth.

I would very much like to stop that.
Having a place that I can come back to, hang art that I’ve collected, work on motorbikes… I would love that.
So this would be a job that pretty much allows that.

I will look into it a bit more…but that’s an idea that’s rolling around my head.

What’s the plan from now?

I guess quitting my job at the end of my contract （October）
-travelling around Europe visiting friends I’ve wanted to visit for a while (1 month) including the UK
-Travelling to China to catch up with the people I wanted to catch up with there…and kind of missed out on thanks to the accident (1.5 months)

And then off to Australia.

More updates to come