Narrated By:  Christopher John Fetherolf
Length:  9 hrs and 58 mins

Great book. Just a great book.  To react to one review on audible which stated that the plot doesn’t progress much, I beg to differ.  To be honest it sounds more like there is a plot shift.

Bill, one of the legendary Freewill vampires (vampires that are not able to be controlled by other vampire’s compulsions) has gone missing since the end of book 4.  We get to find out where he’s been, which is…of a form…training.  [Held captive in Switzerland by Alex (Alexander the Great)]  The reason why Bill didn’t make contact all this time was because he was effectively held against his will in his ‘beast mode’ turned on all the time, otherwise affectionately known as his Doctor Death persona.  In fact the real Bill, the sensical Bill, had no idea where he was.

Turns out there is a divergence in terms of where the Vampire Nation’s efforts should be focused amongst the 1st coven.   Which is where the overall plot is now heading… also briefly understood after the Mourning Woods book.

Bill steals a head sitting in a jar (reminiscent of the Futurama Head Museum) from his captors, and it turns out this is a bad choice.  Fate once again doesn’t seem to be on his side as the vampire head regrows to a full vampire and becomes much more of a menace than anyone thought possible, so much so that the Vampire Nation’s war against the Grendals might not be so bad.

I love the way this book is written, I only wrote down a few of the things that I found funny… but know that it is full of gold.

Douche nozzles, & fucktards, are just some of the colourful language used to explain people Bill doesn’t like…. I think this is something many frustrated people can relate to.

“Never say with one word, what you could with a thousand”   Haha, love this line…its sounds like the way Blackadder would choose to insult someone rather than just call them an idiot.

Narration?

While there is no problem with the accents, and the voices and everything, every so now and then the voice for Bill changes as it sounds like parts have been re-recorded for different editions/ revisions.  This seems like a continuing problem from the previous books as well.

It’s nothing so terrible, and nothing that detracts from the story or makes it significantly less enjoyable, it’s just that it’s a bit strange.

Spoilers…what does this book introduce you to over the other books?  (Highlight the text to see spoilers & what was learnt from this book)

[The Jahavish = the stone monsters from Sunset Strip (book 4.5)

Dru-aga = Scaly Monster entity said to be one of the 7 lords/ rulers of the underworld.
Communicates psychically.

-Misunderstands Bill’s meandering sarcastic thoughts (picturing himself having sex with what he’d imagine their kinds female members look like, as if to say ‘I was fucking your mum last night’), to take it that Bill wants to procreate with his species creating ultra-strong hybrids which would be useful in the upcoming war.  Stating ‘Yes, I will take it understand consideration.’

De colery = the bodiless.  Traitors to the vampire nation that have had their heads cut off with a silver blade soaked in a special poison which prevents them from dying completely & also prevents them from re-growing from the heads

The fact that there are Gargoyles and/ or pterodactyls flying over the Brooklyn bridge and that ordinary humans can begin seeing them.  That weird storms are becoming more regular and unusual things keep showing up.

The Cult of Ib = a cult that worship the former Freewills of the Vampire nation, which we assume was led by Vehyron.

Vehyron = Vehyron the destroyer, the hater of life, the unbeatable freewill.  Doesn’t speak English, does speak latin.  Can communicate with Bill via subtle compulsions, that while they don’t affect Bill, he can hear the meaning of the messages in his head psychically.
Has a tattoo of a snake over his chest, and a black moon & black sun on over his shoulders as well as long dark hair as if straight out of a metal concert.

Is said to be over 2,200 years old. 

-Hater of ‘abominations’  The old Cult believed there to be Vampires & Vampire Freewills, but nothing else.  Anything outside of this was hunted down and killed.  Special vampires like Gan (a 300 year-old in the body of a 12 year old) possessing increased speed over other vampires, would thus be a target. + Ed becomes a target after its learned that vampires are allergic to his blood in a way similar to an Icon.

Trophy room of freewill heads – Its alluded that many of the heads found in Alex’s trophy room / bedroom closest, are in fact Freewills, and that he might have been responsible for the disappearing of the Freewills of old.]

Recommendation on this book?

Yeah, it’s a great book.  I actually initially downloaded a pirated version of the book…because the actual books on audible were getting expensive.  But it came in 1 giant long mp3 file, which is a bitch if you want to rewind and listen to things you might have missed.

Which is why I went back and bought the book later, because there are things that you want to make sure you didn’t miss.

The war is finally getting started, and Bill is starting to release his potential… so things are shaping up to be very interesting.

Listen to a sample of the book here:  Goddamned Freak Monsters sample

Get a free trial of audible with 2 free books, listen to books like this for free, & then if you want….just quit before 30 days & you get to keep everything… sounds like a pretty good deal to me.