Narrated by: Stephen R. Thorne
Length: 14 hrs and 20 mins

Incredible imagery. Batshit crazy. Brutal. Absurdly Hilarious.

This …book….is batshit crazy.   But I mean that in a good way.

This review was quite difficult to write, because there is so much substance to this book… but in a really really weird way, it’s just all over the place, and it makes it difficult to write a review that does it justice.

Let me just start with recommendations straight away, so you don’t waste your time.

Out of all my friends I would guess only 2 people would truly enjoy this book.  One of them is one of my best friends, Tom.

Tom this review is essentially for you.

This book is crazily hilarious!   It is immature, brutal in its descriptions, and yes funny….but in a completely absurd way.

Way of writing

This book seems to be written in a way of 2 immature but intelligent people with huge imaginations making random stuff up. Where 1 person will write something and then ask … “and then what happens?” and the 2nd person will fill it in with something bizarre, and then hand it over to the 1st person again….. And they just run with it and it just continues for 14 hours.

It’s difficult to relate to these characters, but that’s not the point of the book i think.
You enjoy it by how much the 2 characters just don’t give a shit, in spite of this incredibly weird situation they’ve found themselves in. Which… makes it funny.
At 1 point the main character Dave recommends the movie ‘Mulholland drive’ to a cop and his young kid, just because he doesn’t care.
….  – it basically a really weird movie, which is definitely not appropriate for children.

Plot

2 friends, (friends in the way that they can stand each other’s company, but not super close..) in their own way discover, almost as if it was destiny, a drug called ‘soy sauce’  named due to its inky black colour,  and through taking it they find out that the world & even the universe is not how they thought it was.  They end up being able to see the dead, demons, a whole bunch of weird things, beings that seem to cross dimensions, and go about either solving cases for which other people are affected by them but can’t see them or do anything about it.

The story is told as part of an interview by a reporter that may or may not be completely bored.. and just wants to hear something bizarre.

This is the publishers summary by the way (so you can guess how this book is) :

STOP. You should not have touched this flyer with your bare hands. NO, don’t put it down. It’s too late. They’re watching you. My name is David Wong. My best friend is John. Those names are fake. You might want to change yours. You may not want to know about the things you’ll read on these pages, about the sauce, about Korrok, about the invasion, and the future. But it’s too late. You touched the book. You’re in the game. You’re under the eye. The only defense is knowledge. You need to read this book, to the end. Even the part with the bratwurst. Why? You just have to trust me. The important thing is this: The drug is called Soy Sauce and it gives users a window into another dimension. John and I never had the chance to say no. You still do. I’m sorry to have involved you in this, I really am. But as you read about these terrible events and the very dark epoch the world is about to enter as a result, it is crucial you keep one thing in mind: None of this was my fault.

©2007 David Wong and Permuted Press. All rights reserved. (P)2011 BBC Audiobooks America

Once again, this book is batshit crazy, but you’ll end up laughing hysterically just at the sheer absurdness of it.
I was.  I was driving home 1 day listening to this book, & just nearby my house.. I ended laughing out loud but into my helmet…

The 2 characters just do not give a shit. They are dealing with stuff that would make a normal person terrified.. but they take it all in their stride… not because they’re brave or anything… they just 100% don’t give a shit.

Examples of the Batshit craziness?

There is weird quotes like “A kitten put a paw on my foot… I punted it across the room”

  • “We’re going in there with the intention to leave it as a smoking hole in the ground…..Praise be to Allah”

(they are not religious)

– “I would like to pause for a moment to talk about my penis….”   Opening words of chapter 13.

– “And that’s my story, I’m sorry it’s so retarded…”

  • Explaining the make-up of the computer

And then brought it to life with the psychotic energy that fuels Lynch mobs

  • “Are you thinking what I’m thinking? That if Frans Kofka was here…his head would explode… “  Dave – “Actually…yeah”
  • Just listen out for ‘The woodchuck story’ in Chapter 15.   It is hilarious, but disgusting…and still manages to make a point.
  • Danny Waxler, the weather man’s racist ramble, (after supposedly being possessed by a demon of something)

We could see the shadow man, but the other anchors could not, because they didn’t react in horror, or at least until Danny Waxler opened his mouth…
-“I’m Danny Waxler, & this is channel 5 sports, the [undisclosed] football team has been raped in the ass by fate once again, booted from the 1st round of the playoffs as they failed to carry their inflatable turd past the chalk-line in the grass as often as their opponents did. Here’s Hornets quarter-back Mikey Wolfard, flopping that right arm around like a retard while he tries to pass to a team mate that apparently only he can see.
Annnnddd… he’s intercepted,  nice pass tard!   Now here’s Spartans Full back Derick Simpsons pumping those N***a thighs down the field like pistons on a machine designed for cotton picking.   Oooh nice tackle attempt there Freddy Mason, I bet you could tackle that full-back if he was made of dick, couldn’t you Freddy?  …But he’s not, so final score 41 to 17.  May every Spartan die with a turd on his lips, all hail Korokk!”

It seems like they get away with a lot in just covering it as what people say when they’re possessed.

  • ‘I said to John, “do you know if we walked around the world, your hate would travel 21 ft further than your shoes?”
    ‘I don’t know Dave, but before we make the bomb, I have to shave half the dog’
    (Amazing, but absurd conversations between the 2 of them)

Conclusion
I would recommend this book for sure, but don’t forget it is immature, completely crazy, brutal in its descriptions, and funny…but in a completely absurd way.
If you don’t think you can take all of this, then I doubt you’ll be able to appreciate this book or how well it’s written.

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